At one point in my life I was very independent. My Utah State years were liberating and a period of time where I loved solitude. I loved being with roommates and going to activities and all that jazz, but I sincerely came to love the time I spent alone on campus throughout the day. I stopped needing constant companionship and enjoyed long, interrupted chains of thought. Most the time I ate lunch alone out on the quad or made excuses to duck out on people so I could take the long way home. I loved my independence.
Now, in three days time I have discovered how completely dependent I have become these past three (four-ish) years. And dependent in a way I never knew was possible. It's probably not totally healthy but I think it also makes sense. A husband is something, I guess someone, that almost stops being a someone else and instead becomes an integral part of your very person. I have a best friend and she has been my very best friend since I was young. I adore her, love her, need her, yadda yadda yadda....but seriously. But (and she won't be offended by this because she feels the same way) a husband is a best friend in all the best ways plus a thousand other roles that become hard to distinguish what is you and what is him.
Maybe I'm the only one that feels this way but being separated makes me realize how utterly dependent I have become on D. For the small things, like laughing at my jokes or rolling our eyes at the same things or always wanting the same fast food. But I mostly miss him for the big things, like feeling safe all the time, feeling like things will work out during this crazy summer and especially about getting excited about the twins. And I realize this separation is only 27 more days (hooray!) and is probably really good for me but I echo Kirby in wanting to be "independent together". I hate being independent all on my own.
Because in three days I have become absolutely certain that I love my husband more than any other wife loves their husband. But I'm also thankful to know so many of my own family and friends that feel the exact same way. (Even though they are mistaken.)