Social media has been a generally unpleasant place this week. Lots of hateful words being passed around. I find it interesting that this heated conflict fell on Easter week. The discussion is heated because it certainly matters and affects many on both sides.

D and I are trying to focus not just on the things that matters, but on what matters most.


Lieutenant Dan

With the move and the Danny not starting a new job until today, blogging got a little neglected. So now time to play a little catch up.

On February 28th, Danny swore in to the United States Air Force as a commissioned  officer. He accepted the health professional scholarship for medical school and we couldn't be more excited! It was a really special day for us. 

We didn't know what to expect or what commissioning really was before hand but I was so glad my parents and brother had time to run out. If I could do it again we would have set the date later so more family could have been there. 

These pictures aren't great and I still haven't gotten the photos my dad took. But I promise I took some pics with my cute serviceman! I also should have take a picture of all his AF presents, so much stuff. There is no way quicker to D's heart than free stuff (except for maybe hot dogs).

                                                                        D's first salute

This guy  loved pointing out that D                                         signing his life away haha
                                    out ranked everyone in the office.  
                      Giving my mom an honorary service pin                      My pin! The AF really loves us wives.

I never thought I would ever let my sons, let alone my husband join any branch of the military. Maybe that comes from not being familiar with military families outside of movies. I always assumed we would have to move around the country, our kids would be "military brats", our life would be super scheduled and super strict and then there is that whole part of husband getting sent in to active duty. But Danny felt really strongly about at least looking in to the AF for med school. I said no for a couple of months and then one day we were headed to Heber for a date (aka to get Huckleberry ice cream) and we started talking about it. I will always remember that moment as one of those spiritual two by fours to the face. I just felt totally calm and excited and at peace with the Air Force. After that, we started doing a lot of homework and meeting with recruiters and getting our questions answered. Once we had all our questions answered, we realized that the Air Force was the best option for our family and a really exciting option at that. 

 A few people have asked my about the specifics of joining the AF for medical school. (Those not interested, can stop reading now). It basically boils down to a year of service for every year of medical school paid (The AF pays for all education costs, a living stipend and a sign on bonus). Danny will go to Alabama this June for office training (and my pregnant self won't get to go to the big ceremony at the end...sad) and then do med school like every other student for the next four years. Then he will go on to residency, and he can choose to apply for a civilian residency or a military residency (This is also a big plus for us. Military residencies are some of the best in the country, and they pay significantly more than average programs). Residency will be between two and four years depending on the program. Once residency is completed, Danny will work as a doctor on an Air Force base for four years of payback. 

One thing I learned about the AF, is we will have quite a bit of say in where we spend those four years. Much more say than students have when applying to residency. There is also the option to spend a few of the years abroad, which is appealing to us. During payback the whole fam travels and lives with D and he is a regular doctor. The scary part is during those four years he can get called up to active duty. The AF active duty is generally six months long. Active duty would stink obviously, because just going a month without D in June may just kill me, but it doesn't scare me like it used to. The AF spends A LOT of money on their doctors, so doctors are never placed in "hot" zones, they are usually in Germany. So I don't worry at all about him getting killed or injured. I mean, they don't even teach him how to use a gun. But again, I will still HAAAAAAATE it if he gets called up. But in the end, we decided we would rather have six months of separation than ten+ years worth of debt and a giant struggle all through medical school. 

I feel so blessed to be an AF family. I get to stay home with my babies and not worry about finances, have some great savings and not stress out over every dime we are spending. I know that works for some couples (more power to ya!) but I know it would have been really hard on me and D. Anyway, commissioning was amazing! It made me so excited for our journey to begin. Now if only we could get responses from all out schools so we could make a dang decision on where we will be spending the next four years!!


Dear Monday

Dear Monday, only two more of you to go before I will be on a beach in Hawaii. Huzzah!

Dear Med Schools, the "end of March" is a loose term. Can you please be more specific on the date you will be sending out information? Thanks.

Dear Legs, if you could not fall asleep every half an hour I would really love to sleep through the night. I know there are two annoying babies sitting on your nerves, but suck it up.

Dear Crafters, can someone explain to me why we pay more for unfinished baby stuff than ready made things sold in stores? I guess I don't have the "nesting" gene because I don't get it. Maybe it is because I am seriously afraid of all things in the sewing genre.

Dear Chick-fil-a, all I want to do is drink your sour lemonade all day, every day.

Dear Baby Wise, I do like you. But you also scare the shit out of me. Reading about breast feeding is literally making me gag.

Dear Babies, I'm sorry I said shit. I'm working on it (ie: being heavily encouraged by your righteous father).

Dear Daniel, thank you for being wonderful so we don't go to hell. I love you madly.


Wednesday Babies

The thing is, life can be terrifying. I called my best friend yesterday to tell her the genders of my twins and we got in to a conversation about being overwhelmed and terrified. She thinks about having children and it terrifies her, but the thing is I think about the twins being born...and it terrifies me.

The majority of the time I have no idea what is going on. From the outsiders perspective, many of my pregnant friends seem really on top of it. (I won't be so presumptuous as to assume I know how they actually feel but maybe they are as calm as they appear.) They have all these plans and lists of stuff to buy and nursery plans and names picked out and nutritional meal plans that change with trimester. And I'm the dope in the corner that is like..."Uh, I think I'm like 4ish months pregnant." Maybe this partly comes from a pretty easy pregnancy thus far. I never got sick (a little nauseous occasionally but nothing bad at all) and I haven't felt the babies move yet and I just recently started showing a little bit. So for the most part, I haven't really felt pregnant. But I think in large part, I avoid the books and knowing every, little detail because I have a heaping portion of fear inside of me.

Because I am having twins, I automatically qualify as a "high-risk pregnancy". Comforting. The good thing about this is that I see two doctors every 3-4 weeks and I get to do an ultrasound every time. Each time I go to the doctor I have a creeping fear that something is wrong, and every time the babies are healthy and beautiful in that way only your little beans that look like squirrels can be on a fuzzy, black and white screen. And then suddenly this fear that eats away at me is replaced with this unbelievable amount of joy. 

Baby A (they call him that because he sits on the bottom, he is so far down that my legs suddenly go numb to my toes every time I lay on my back or sit for too long) has been squished the whole pregnancy. He just chills out and occasionally gives a frustrated kick at his sister. Baby B, my sassy little daughter, has been dancing around every time we see her. She takes up all the space she wants and waves at us when we see her. After our second ultrasound D said he thought it was a boy and a girl just because their personalities were just like the two of us. (I assume he means that I am a very calm and peaceful person while he can be overly dramatic at times....). 

Yesterday, after finding out the genders of our babies (One of each!! We could not be more excited!) I suddenly felt very pregnant. And I started thinking about how I don't know how to be a mom, how they are due Danny's first month of medical school, how expensive this will be, how scary labor seems and I was completely overwhelmed. Then I started thinking about other terrifying moments in my life. And again, I felt this overwhelming amount of joy. The most terrifying things in my life have always turned out to be not only the biggest growing experiences but have brought an incredible amount of joy with them. 

And now the only thing more terrifying than having two littles crying all night during the first month of medical school, is not having them. And I'm so grateful, I become overwhelmed all over again. 

And now, some pics of my cute nephew finding out the genders of his first cousins!! He was very relieved that there weren't two pairs of girl shoes in the bag. 

P.S. Thank you for all the love yesterday. We are blessed to have so many good friends and family that have been so willing to share the joy!


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