11.19.2009

John Locke

I'm currently taking Political Theory from Professor Peter "sleepy" MacNamara. The past few weeks we have been studying the theories of John Locke. Though his theories were not particularly new or revolutionary in his time, they did unite generations of political thinkers and laid the foundation for democratic freedoms based on the consent of the governed. That alone makes him one of the most influential political theorists in Western history. But there are two things I personally value from Locke's political theories: his view on the state of nature and the influence that had on Thomas Jefferson and his view on family and marriage.

"...we must consider what state all men are naturally in, and that is a state of perfect freedom. But though this be a state of liberty it is not a state of licence."

I have just completed my final paper on John Locke's view of the family. I find it interesting that a political theorist from the seventeen century has a more correct understanding of the family and marriage than the people surrounding me in my political science classes. Locke's view on paternal power, lasting marriage and commitment to family moved me as I studied it. Men truly have been inspired through out time and God's principles are the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

This Thanksgiving I am grateful for the remarkable family I have been blessed with. I don't express my gratitude to my parents nearly enough. Locke remarks that children are forever in debt to their parents and owe them respect, honor and gratitude. Everything I have, everything I have been blessed to experience and all that I have the potential to be roots in my parents. I love them. I am grateful for their examples and support though out my life. Danny and I were chatting last night and he mentioned he had called his mom earlier that day. Her influence on him was amazing to me. Through all of his stress this week,it is the most calm I have heard him, the happiest I have heard him. I'm excited to be spending Thanksgiving with his family but I'm mostly just grateful that he gets to have time at home.

The other John Locke has fallen from grace. I finished the season three finale of Lost last night. I don't know whether to be most upset about Charlie's death, Jack's new drug addiction, Kate abandoning Jack, Naomi's lies or Ben and the fact that I hate him. Now Charlie's death is bitter sweet. He was heroic and doing what was best for the crew but I started crying for Claire immediately. The best episode of all time (or up to this point) is hands down "Greatest Hits". Anyone who watches Lost with me knows the biggest draw is Jack. Oh, I love Jack. So seeing him in such a horrible condition was very difficult for me. And who does Kate think she is just walking away from him? Seriously, is it so easy to forget how many times he saved her on the island. I'm clearly getting to attached to the TV show.

I love Lost. It is complex, funny, emotional and insanely intense. But mostly I love watching it with people I love. They are incredible people and have made this semester bearable. I started out this semester feeling incredibly lonely and I hated every moment that wasn't the weekend. Lost has given me, and I think a few of the others, the excuse to be with people I care about. It just isn't the same if Nat is not there cuddling with someone. Sarah adds a whole new level of screaming and intensity. Dru, often wrong about people, adds such a fun aspect. And of course we couldn't watch it without Eric D. I think I would have given it up a long time ago if he wasn't there to keep us sane. Lost is just another thing to add to the list that makes leaving Logan so hard.

11.04.2009

Chris Carrabba

I remember when I was maybe 11 sitting against the wall in the front room. When we still lived at the old house, before the wood floors. Eric was sitting on the other side of the CD player, Nick was laying on the couch and Bri was sitting at the piano. Dashboard was playing. "And this apartment is starving for an argument. Anything at all to break the silence." I don't know why those lyrics are the ones I remember.

I remember being terrified walking into Saltaire for the first time. Following behind Eric as closely as possible. I really thought I was going to get kidnapped or forced to do marijuana or something. Brooke and I went and bought our black, muscle car, Dash T-shirts. I wish I knew where that shirt was. I was in panic mode through all the opening bands and then a massive shove forward as everyone tried to get closer to the stage, about made me cry. Chris came out and started playing. At some point I started singing along and forgot to be scared.

I remember how sticky my fingers were after putting three of my friends hair into dread locks. We watched the first two Lord of the Rings while dreading all of our hair before the concert. Our 15 year old selves thought fake, sticky, nasty looking dreads would somehow enhance our concert experience. We were really cool. Nicole and a friend drove us down to Salt Lake and five of us had our first independent concert on the floor. Nicole and her friend would only pay for seats. Looking back we were the annoying girls I now hate at concerts.

I remember driving home from Fremont crying my eyes out. I can't remember why I was upset. I'm sure it being Junior year it had something to do with Colin or Lauren and most likely over Prom. I took the back road where you can see out through the fields. Dashboard was blaring. By the time I got home I felt a little better. "On the way home this car hears my confessions I think tonight I'll take the long way"

I remember running home from campus, taking the back road behind the frat house almost tripping through the branches. When I got to the apartment everyone was waiting for me. The drive to the Venue was dangerous and highly illegal. Waiting outside was freezing. Luckily, Augustana didn't show up so Chris came out early. Such a good concert! Probably my favorite so far. A long set, Chris playing a little bit of the new stuff but huge amounts of the old. Toward the end of the concert he threw out his pick, which I caught. Well caught, dropped and clawed my way through people to recover. I was 18 but I screamed like I was 8 years old.

I remember chewing off my fingernails during political science on Monday. Worried. chew. Happy. chew. Upset. chew, chew. A lot to think about. Replaying conversations in my head. Imagining other conversations. Yesterday the new Dashboard CD "Alter the Ending" came out. How ironic. I listened to it several times. A few times risking blowing out my computer speakers. After I got home from the ritual Lost get together, all I could do was wait. The later it got, the more worried I got. I started listening to the CD again. Chris has had a tendency to say the right thing at the right time through out our relationship.

Don't turn away
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don't be afraid
But keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard

11.03.2009

Jason Broderick

It was a pretty mellow Halloween this year. Lovely, but mellow. In past years Brittan and I have planned our costumes months in advance. We don't just throw costumes together, we create authentic outfits (when I way "we" I mean my mom). I love to dress up but what I learned this year is that I don't love dressing up just because it is Halloween and it is tradition.I love dressing up because it is something I do with Brittan. This year with no big party to go to (due to the fact that we dress up to go to parties, we go to parties to meet boys and now we all have boyfriends) we decided to do a triple date. Selaina, Brittan and myself plus the boys. We carved pumpkins, cooked the seeds, made homemade pizza and watched a scary movie. I think it may have been my favorite Halloween so far.

Selaina has been one of my best friends since the 7th grade. She is that person you can say anythings, seriously anyting, to. She is incredible, there are few people I admire more. She has been a stabilizing influence in my life and helped me out of a few rough situations. The past few years she has faced more trials than anyone would have imagined for her. Trials that would have broken a lot of people. Trials that very well may have broken me. But seeing her with Jason (the soon to be fiance) on Saturday, honestly happier than I have ever seen her brought me so much joy. They are a perfect match. They were hilarious together. I finally saw her old self again, that light and laugh that makes her Selaina. She came out of her trials a little bruised and it took time but I have seen her faith in Christ restore to a happy and perfect state again. It gives me hope that no matter what I face, with Christ it can and will be overcome.

It was a really great moment at the end of the movie to look over and see Selaina and Jason so completely content. Looking at Brittan and Nick, ridiculously in love. And being happier than I have ever been, happier than I ever thought I could be. My best friends with amazing men, men that finally see them the way I always have and appreciate who they are. And to know someone was looking at me the same way.

Love. Check. The future looks bright.

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